thespherelogs | There may be murder tonight

Who: Seregil and Alec
Where: Their pod
When: Beginning of February/After the log with Jag
What: After their talk with Jagger, Seregil wants to know where all these thoughts about death are coming from.

It had taken quite a bit for Seregil not to say something during the meet up with Jagger, but it wasn't the other man's business. It was, however, his. If something had happened, if Alec had died - just the thought of it sent a coldness like claws around his heart. No, Alec wasn't allowed to die.

It took everything in him not to pull the other man close to prove to himself that he was solid and whole. Of course, their work was dangerous, but death, no, Alec wasn't allowed to die, nor was Micum or anyone else in his ever small orbit. He'd die first to keep them from it. The idea that such thoughts were his comparison for something that one could easily make a comparison to pieces of a puzzle, it was telling, and as soon as they were inside Seregil whirled on him.

"Alright, out with it." Deep lines creased the frown as his grey eyes stared at Alec intently. Either he'd tell him or Seregil would wring it out of him.

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"Maker help us if she ever manages that," Alec laughed. "Would you duel her for my hand?"

It was all in jest, and Alec had an easy demeanor about him.

"My place is at your side. And I think you know that, even now. Try not to question it, because I wouldn't trade what I have with you for anything."

"I think they tortured the sense out of you in that dungeon." He was sure of it. No one in their right mind would want to be tied to him the way Alec seemed to want it. Following him on any sort of fool whim of his and accepting the horrible consaquences that came with it. Alec was a fool, and Seregil a fool for letting him do it. "You're too amiable and put up with too much from me."

"I think I should torture some sense into you." Alec grinned and tugged at Seregil's hand. "You should give yourself more credit."

"I give myself plenty of credit." Seregil easily falls back into Alec's lap. It was strange, how easy being like this with Alec was once he'd finally admitted it out loud to the other man. He wasn't sure why, maybe Alec's way, but it felt as if this was where he'd always belonged. "You just think too well of me."

Alec grinned and leaned back against the couch, both hands drifting idly over Seregil's back. This was far more comfortable. It demanded nothing, and yet begged a comfortable familiarity.

"I think the world of you," Alec corrected. "And I miss our bond. I wish you knew what it felt like."

The world was far too much. Seregil was a hopelessly flawed man, and he knew it. A man who was kicked out by his people and with no real place. Alec found him noble and good, and the thought of living up to that scared him.

"I'm sorry that I've taken it from you. The taliminos bond is incredibly special to us, but I can assure you that not having it isn't for lack of my feelings." It was vital for him that Alec know his feelings were still the same, bond or no bond.

"I'm glad to know it."

Alec coaxed Seregil to rest with him, and allowed his eyes to drift shut when they were properly situated.

"But you haven't taken anything from me. Quite simply, you're who you are, and I'm who I am, and we can't help that at the moment. So don't feel you have anything to apologize for."

It isn't hard to coax him because of how comfortable this feels; how right. He lets his hand slide down to lace his fingers with Alec's

"It must still be jarring for you." He couldn't say anything about it really, Seregil had never had the taliminos bond, and would doubt that he ever would if it weren't for Alec's stating that he did. After all, there would be no reason for Alec to know about it unless he'd told the boy about it.

"All of this must be."

"It is for you too," Alec reasoned. "There's nothing easy about this for either of us, I'm afraid. If our places were changed, I can't imagine I'd react much differently."

The difference being, of course, that Alec was far more hesitant about his own feelings. Seregil had been surer of himself from the start, as he often was; Alec was a careful man, and that was perhaps what matched them so perfectly.

"But you know I'm patient. And I know you're worth waiting for. So don't worry yourself over it."

Leaning back, he kissed the space between his neck and his chin. "Too patient, it seems." The truth was that he hadn't known just how patient Alec was or how much he wanted to be with him. It was a lot to live up to.

There may be murder tonight

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