[Closed] When the Loneliness Strikes

[doubled_speed]

WHO: Tommy Shepherd, Gar Logan, Wanda Maximoff
WHERE: Tommy's Dome, Wanda's Dome
WHAT: Alone Event - Comforting
WHEN: July 13th and on
WARNINGS: Traumatic history, references to torture and mental abuse, one thread may lead to sex, it will be marked when it gets there.


Waking Up Alone | Closed to Gar

There was a specific sort of feeling that comes with waking up, one that Tommy hasn't felt in a long time. The last time this had happened had been when he was locked up, when he wasn't sure what day it was, what month, what year. When the only thing that was certain was that he would be awoken and there would be pain.

It was a sense that came with every morning, waking up in an empty space, walls he could touch with both hands at once by just reaching out, it had nearly driven him mad. And now his personal dome gave off the same feeling. Isolation, darkness. There was no one there.

The pain is so deep, the fear so overpowering. Tommy blurs around his dome at full speed, searching, seeking trying to find something that he knew couldn't be found. The certainty was absolute, and he found himself screaming into the void around him. They were all gone. They were gone and they had left him, all alone in the darkness. Where was Gar? Hadn't Gar come by earlier? Why had he left? He had promised, hadn't he? Promised he would be here with Tommy, and now he was gone too.

Just before the nightmare faded from his dome, Tommy found himself collapsing onto his couch and trying so hard not to sob.

United In Pain | Closed to Wanda

When it all passes and he has a moment, Tommy does the only thing that makes sense. He races to Wanda's dome, hands immediately coming up to start pounding on her door. After how he'd felt, he needed to not be alone. He needed to be near his mother, the only true family he had here. Maybe she wasn't HIS Wanda, but she would get it, right? The fear of being alone, of being isolated. Worse, he knew it would have to be so much more for her, because she had lost people in ways he didn't know that others would really get.



[OOC: If someone wants Tommy in particular around related to this, hit me up with a message here or on plurk churbooseanon and I can make something.]

Comments

[garrrr]

The nightmare that had come over Tommy's dome had them both passing like ships in the night, alone and so close but never managing to realize that they weren't alone. There was a panic in Gar, memories of that first cage, the first time he'd tasted blood and being alone. He'd been alone and he'd been alone in the pain of everything that'd happened and the things that he'd done but at least for a while he had had people. Now no one's there. He doesn't run around trying to find anyone. He closes in on himself, on the floor somewhere in the kitchen area and back pressed against the cabinet and knees drawn tightly to his chest. All the dark thoughts that come with being alone rising to the surface and he feels like they're slowly drowning him, closing his airways.

But it does pass but the heaviness doesn't really lift, cloying to his mind stubbornly.

Gar has the presence of mind to push himself up, to realize that he's in Tommy's dome, that he'd been there with Tommy which meant they'd both just experienced that. He forces himself to calmness, to the careful state of being okay because you need other people to be okay and it only takes a moment to find Tommy.

"Tommy," he breathes and there's a relief in seeing him and he drops beside him immediately, pulling him close. "I'm here."

[doubled_speed]

Gar. Oh thank fuck. He's not alone. Tears in his eyes Tommy wraps his arms around Gar, holding him tightly. No, don't leave him, just stay here. Fuck, never go.

Tommy's strong, very strong thanks to his mutation. Which means in his grief and fear his arms are like a vice around Gar, possibly even going to risk hurting him.

[minus1twin]

Wanda was in her dome when she felt the sudden rush of loneliness wash over her. She'd tried to call Tommy, Antonio, Natasha... anyone, but most of her friends had left. Her team was gone. It was a crushing feeling but she didn't want it to keep her down. She told herself that it would pass. It would be gone but even as the shadow of fear lifted, she felt its weight on her heart.

There were tears in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She wasn't going to be weak when the sphere was playing its cruel tricks.

She felt Tommy's presence before she heard the knock at the door and didn't waste any time to walk towards it and call out. "Come in!" As soon as she saw Tommy, she pulled her son into a tight hug, burying her face against his shoulder. "Thank god you're okay." He was with her...

It didn't matter what the truth was or what anyone else thought. Tommy was her son and she needed him as she needed any other family member.

[doubled_speed]

The moment she's there and in his arms he hugs her tightly. Hugs her and holds her close. This is the right thing. She's here, she didn't disappear. Tommy squeezes and buries his face in her hair.

"I thought you left. Everyone leaves, and I thought you left."

[minus1twin]

"I wouldn't leave. I will fight to stay at your side." She held him tightly and for a few seconds, she refused to let him go. "I love you Tommy. I love you so much." The tears that she'd been fighting spilled from the corner of her eyes.

"I was so scared that I had lost you."

It had felt like everyone was gone and there was no power in the world that could bring them back.

[garrrr]

The hold is tight, like really tight. It starts to hurt a little and he does his best to hide a wince, pressing his face into the other's shoulder and his arms were tight around Tommy too but he didn't have that kind of strength so it's just a normal grip.

"I'm not going anywhere," Gar assures him lowly, Tommy didn't have to say anything for him to know.

[doubled_speed]

It was so much worse than anything Tommy had ever experienced. A return to the isolation he had escaped. It was too much. So far past too much. He's actually... Actually sobbing. Sobbing and holding Gar because it's that bad.

"You can't. You gotta stay. Please. I can't lose you too."

[doubled_speed]

She may have been scared to lose him, but he had feared abandonment. Tommy had spent too much of his life alone, and in the more than a year that he'd been here, Tommy had gotten closer to Wanda than just about anyone he was close to back home. She was the rock that his sanity was built on.

"It was horrible. Like being in juvie again."

[garrrr]

Gar aches when he realizes that Tommy's sobbing and he doesn't know the right words to say or even what he should do. He rubs Tommy's back gently.

"I'm here, I'm staying, Tommy," he says softly and then he's seeking out his lips to kiss him, urgent as if trying to further convince him that he means it.

[minus1twin]

There was a short wave of her hand as she closed the door behind them.

"Neither of us are alone." So it didn't matter if the sphere had made it seem like they were. It was a lie. A terrible lie.

Wanda pulled back just enough to see Tommy's face. She was crying a little but smiling too. Her heart had been pulled from her chest while trapped in that loneliness but now it was like every atom in her body was singing. "My beautiful boy. I don't know what I'd do without you." She might give him strength but he gave her strength in return.

[doubled_speed]

Not hers, but hers enough that it doesn't matter. That he's happy with the statement. But that doesn't stop him from nearly crying too. Damn, they're a mess.

"I don't know either. Fucking hell, Mom, I don't know. I don't know how to lose you."

[doubled_speed]

The kiss helps some, and it keeps the fear and pain from falling past his lips. And Tommy still clings to Gar. He doesn't get it. Tommy was alone for so long. Abandoned. To go back to that could kill him. Even such a short time had been so much toward breaking him.

[garrrr]

Gar keeps kissing Tommy and he presses him back so that Tommy's positioned so that Gar can straddle his lap and press close. He's not thinking too much about it, he just wants to get as close as he can. Please believe him, he's staying. It aches to see Tommy this way.

[doubled_speed]

Oh, well that's a thing. A lot of a thing. Tommy likes this position, a lot. The weight of Gar is comforting.

The kiss was good, intense, beautiful, and Tommy's arms loosen up so they can instead run up and down his back.

[garrrr]

Gar's a little relieved when Tommy's hold loosens and is no longer just shy of too much to handle. He parts his lips, a flick of his tongue against Tommy's in an open invitation to deepen it.

[doubled_speed]

How could he ever be so rude as to deny the invitation? Tommy leans up, opening his mouth as he deepens the kiss, intending to coax Gar's tongue into a bit more active exploration.

[minus1twin]

It was better not to think about it. There was always a chance that one of them would be taken from the sphere or perhaps there will be a day that all of this inevitably ends but that didn't matter. She cherished every last moment she had with her son.

"Me neither. So I will find you. Wherever we are taken... I won't stop looking for you." She smiled at him. "You don't have to believe me. One day I'll prove it to you."

[doubled_speed]

Prove it to him. How silly. He could be taken away, and then she'll have her own family to go home to.

"Thanks. No one but Billy has ever come looking."

[garrrr]

Gar makes a quiet sound as Tommy's mouth opens and he's more than happy to let the other lead him into the exploration. His fingers slid into the other's hair, curling against his scalp.

[doubled_speed]

This? This was an intense way to reinforce his not being alone, wasn't it? And he loves it. This felt, you know, possessed. Consumed with the fire of the other man.

[garrrr]

At some point Gar breaks the kiss to get a full breath in, pressing his forehead to Tommy's as he does.

"I'm here," he murmurs to him again, fingers still buried in his hair.

[doubled_speed]

"You're here," Tommy agrees, breath half ragged. And he love it. "Be more here."

[minus1twin]

She didn't have a family to return home too and the friends that were left on Earth could survive without her. Tommy, on the other hand, needed her and she needed him.

"That's what family does."

They find each other.

[doubled_speed]

Needign is a hard thing for him to admit to. For right now, he's so happy to embrace her. He knows she's here, and it helps. Helps more that she wants him.

"You're the best family I've got."

[minus1twin]

"It's the same for me." She hadn't completely let Tommy go but she'd shifted the hug so that they could comfortably speak. It was difficult, in the memory of that loneliness, to let him go.

"Why don't you spend the night? We can make popcorn and watch a movie." There were a lot of movies that she hadn't seen while growing up in a war torn country and she was using her time at the sphere to make up for that. Some of the movies she watched were questionable in nature, randomly selected but most were decent movies.