[He can feel the moment where Eddie realises, because he's suddenly rigid and unmoving, but Richie doesn't let go. Partly because Eddie is still holding on tight, and partly because he's selfish. Because he needs, at least for a little longer, the proof that Eddie is right here with him.

Richie nods, a little stiff and jittery too, digs for the right words. He doesn't want to make Eddie upset, or scared, but he wants answers to the questions ready to race out of his mouth. When you say 'being stupid', are you talking about how we-? What did you need more time for? How would you feel if I told you-

God, he's not going to be sick all over Eddie. That would be traumatising for the both of them.]

Yeah. It just- look, you have it all wrong.

[Not a great start.]

I'm the one that- if anyone has to fix things, it's me. So- so I don't know why you were talking about being stupid, because everything's my fucking fault anyway. And I'm sorry. I'm-

[Of course he ended up here, adding another apology to Eddie to his tally, and no, he refuses to also cry in front of him again, bites down hard on the inside of his cheek and tilts his head back stubbornly before looking down again.

He meets Eddie's eyes, because he deserves that at the very least.]

I'm really sorry I'm like this. I don't want it to make you feel like shit.