( The real tragedy, more than anything, is that Eddie never lets himself enjoy it.
He's grappled with this for months, probably longer if he's honest with himself, and there should be even just a single moment where he forgets about his many and varied anxieties for just long enough to actually appreciate what is happening. He's wanted this very thing so badly that it felt like a physical thing taking up residence in his lungs and weighing down his chest – but he's hated how much he has wanted this just as much.
Even as Richie doesn't pull away, Eddie's mind is already spinning with the reality of what he's just done. He's already piecing together exactly what has just happened and putting it together in the most unpleasant ways possible. Richie's injured, Richie needed him, and Eddie—
By the time Richie takes his breath and Eddie yanks back quick as a flash, already visibly mortified. He touches his mouth once, quickly, and then his hands drop back into little fists in his lap once more. )
I- You- I didn't- Richie, don't-
( His breathing is already ramping up to dangerous speeds, but at least he's not wheezing yet. Eddie can't focus on articulating properly and staving off an asthma attack at the same time, so he just ends up doing a very poor job of both. )
no subject
He's grappled with this for months, probably longer if he's honest with himself, and there should be even just a single moment where he forgets about his many and varied anxieties for just long enough to actually appreciate what is happening. He's wanted this very thing so badly that it felt like a physical thing taking up residence in his lungs and weighing down his chest – but he's hated how much he has wanted this just as much.
Even as Richie doesn't pull away, Eddie's mind is already spinning with the reality of what he's just done. He's already piecing together exactly what has just happened and putting it together in the most unpleasant ways possible. Richie's injured, Richie needed him, and Eddie—
By the time Richie takes his breath and Eddie yanks back quick as a flash, already visibly mortified. He touches his mouth once, quickly, and then his hands drop back into little fists in his lap once more. )
I- You- I didn't- Richie, don't-
( His breathing is already ramping up to dangerous speeds, but at least he's not wheezing yet. Eddie can't focus on articulating properly and staving off an asthma attack at the same time, so he just ends up doing a very poor job of both. )
I didn't mean to. I didn't, I swear. I don't–