[ Stan's not looking at her, not even in his periphery. He's watching as their orders are made quickly. Because, it really isn't fair that he asked but he knows she's going to answer. He really is pretty sure he already knows the answer.
His breath stops for a minute when she wraps him in a hug. That's not what he'd been expecting. It reminds him of when he thought everyone had left him alone in the sewer and the terror of that moment. He'd never been so afraid as being alone and not knowing where he was but it was dirty and gross and he was hurt. But all of them had just held him until he could calm down again, until they had to keep moving. ]
I'm sure someone's a little mad... [ Stan says quietly. ] I didn't just... not come, right?
[ He had to be sure because if he hadn't done it right then that meant that things were worse for all the other Losers. He'd meant the oath when he took it but in the back of his mind, there'd been that impending sense of inedibility. ]
You guys really understand?
[ He's not sure if she's just trying to make him feel better with those platitudes or not. ]
cw; allusions to suicide/ideation
His breath stops for a minute when she wraps him in a hug. That's not what he'd been expecting. It reminds him of when he thought everyone had left him alone in the sewer and the terror of that moment. He'd never been so afraid as being alone and not knowing where he was but it was dirty and gross and he was hurt. But all of them had just held him until he could calm down again, until they had to keep moving. ]
I'm sure someone's a little mad... [ Stan says quietly. ] I didn't just... not come, right?
[ He had to be sure because if he hadn't done it right then that meant that things were worse for all the other Losers. He'd meant the oath when he took it but in the back of his mind, there'd been that impending sense of inedibility. ]
You guys really understand?
[ He's not sure if she's just trying to make him feel better with those platitudes or not. ]